On A Derby Day...

On Air:

“good evening everybody. today we are going to witness one of the greatest rivalry of football. it’s between…”

In the Field:

Sanjib told, “ok, we are late for the game. Can we please do the sit-taking portion a bit faster?”

“do you think me and Babu posturing for selfies?” asked Nilesh.

On Air:

“…Celtic and Rangers. Rangers have a huge support today. In recent times Celtic has improved their build-up gameplay that…”

In the Field:

On the other side;

“how did he missed it? oh! what a chance!”, said Angshuman.

“it’s ok. Chill. Chances will come around.”, said Kartik.

“it’s not a 2^nd division team we are going against that chances will come again and again. After all, recent times we have been beaten quite often. It’s enough ok?”

On Air:

“…improved their playing style and helped them to win the games for the last two seasons. As we all know about the rivalry between the two ‘old firm boys’ team’; it’s a match between nativist and the immigrants, so as the rivalry.”

In the Field:

“what is going on? Pass the ball man! Please! We have payed 200/- to see this junk! Clap! Clap!”

“foul! It’s attempting murder I say! Referee, red card!”

On the other side;

“boo! It’s fucking fixed! We are already lost! Let’s get those sons of beeps out of the ground!”, said Angshuman.

On Air:

“ok, here we go. The match begins. Tensions all over the faces as it is a do or die match. Once and for all they have to play together to be the favorites today. Because, this game is not only about winning the game, but winning the attention.”

In the Field:

On the other side;

“what’s the say? 25 yards. Can he?”

“no. he can’t. I haven’t seen this kind of goal in this stadium for the last 3-4 seasons.”

On the other stand;

“he can. 500/- rupees. On?”

“1000/- on yes.”

On Air:

Ok. Now here is the situation. 5^th minute of the match and Celtic got a free kick. 25 yards. Quite difficult but not impossible. Let’s see what happens. Larsson is ready to take the free-kick. Can he deliver his best shot? Here is the whistle from the referee… Larsson with the curving shot and…

In the Field:

On the other side;

“…”

“see! Am going home. It’s ridiculous!!! They scored from a 25 yards, a fucking long-ranger!”, said Angshuman.

On the other stand,

“told you, this boy is going to give them 5 goals! Genius! Brilliant! What curve!”

On Air:

“Goal! What a shot! The curving one from Larsson and he made the Rangers’ goal-keeper stand and gaze. This is absolutely genius. Big game, big pressure and a huge goal to celebrate. The first drop of blood has been bled by Celtic, by the scintillating slice shot of Larsson…”

“bro! what are you doing?” a voice came from behind. It was Nilesh.

“just feeling nostalgic. Nilesh, do you remember the last derby we saw together? I was just remembering that.”

“yeah, ok. But why?”

“no, just suddenly I found out this portion of newspaper from the year 1900. It was a match between Celtic and Rangers. Their rivalry is as same as ours. Here, East Bengal known as the immigrants and there Celtic known as such. That match ended up 4-0 and the derby we saw together ended up 4-0 in the favour of the immigrants. The first goal of that match came also from the free-kick and that was scored from 25 yards.”

“remember what was the expression of Angshu? He came home early, very after the first goal. O man! What a game that was…”

Nilesh continued. I just thought about how I emerged myself completely into the 6^th September, 2015 after just read a few lines of commentator’s speech about a match almost 115 years ago. Then I looked at Nilesh and saw how my few sentences made him remembering about almost everything on that 6^th September.

It is a factor of being a fan of East Bengal talking about derby. It is a passion about talking football and using slangs against the opponents. They are Mohun Bagan and we are East Bengal; we are Mohun Bagan and they are East Bengal; this barrier; this emotion; this feeling can only be described in a derby match and can only be expressed if someone witness a derby in Yuva Bharati Krirangon. Even a visit of Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo on a derby day in Kolkata can be missed, but derby can’t.

We may not be the hooligans, but we are, literally, the Bengalese who never let anything come across on a match day of Kingfisher East Bengal vs Mcdowell Mohun Bagan. Above all, on this day, this particular day, from 17-70 years old, slangs are the songs, harassment is the harmony and barriers are the beginning. Football is nothing but emotions.

THE GROUND...

“She was raped again and again. First, she was caught tightly by many, her clothes were tearing apart by many, many put their hands on her body and then a big dick came from nowhere and let her feel free and enjoy the trip to hell”, Prof. Bakshi included, “you know what was my favourite part? Seeing that the girl could have been saved but I don’t know why I couldn’t. Yes, but apart from all other viewers, I took the rest of her and tried my best to heal her.”

“and why did you do that? because others didn’t respond, right?” I asked him.

“I’m quite sure that I didn’t do it for humanity. Perhaps, I assumed to rape her again when she was ready enough to be raped. We are social, aren’t we? It’s our nature.” Prof. Bakshi said with firm notes.

“ugh…sir, can you clarify? please?” I chuckled and asked.

“look, humanity sucks, ok? I don’t know why I helped the girl. It just let me feel good for something.”

“ok, sir. Now tell me what happened after you tried to bring her back to the normal life?”, I asked in a report’s authenticity.

“as I said, society sucks. That day no one helped the girl when she needed that. I helped her and my wife put finger on me asking ‘why you?’ I didn’t answer that. I just kept on meditating her, calling up doctors, went from clinics to clinics, asking for helps, and well, like one in a ’12 angry men’ some friends of mine came forward to help me.” Prof. Bakshi paused for a while, drank water, cleared his throat, and then, just smiled.

After few minutes’ silent-smile he added, “there was a pulp fiction like ‘kill bill’. Reservoir Dogs came hunting for the revenant. The society to us was nothing more than ‘hateful eight’. We tried our best for the girl but leaders came over pointing fingers that why are we showing such sympathy for the girl. You see, when you try to do something for society’s good, then they ask questions and when you try to do something good that let you feel good, then they point fingers. I seriously don’t know what the fucking obsession of getting frustrated at one’s feel-good they are having. I was just doing it for myself, and they made it like I have something of my own interest in it.”

“ok sir, I understand you…”

“no, you don’t. you cannot. You also belong from this scum. In the time of vote, you polish the legs of the party which you want to have the power. Yes, you decide who should rule by your use of actions. I don’t actually know the base of your work. You, the media, point out faults of A and then next day you praise A. but when you praise A you never get tired of pointing fingers on B who was good in your eyes when you pointed A’s faults. And why am I blaming you? I trust you in the morning newspaper and evening’s headlines. Do you fool us or are we been fooled for trusting you? I am confused!”

A silence remained for a while. Then prof. Bakshi broke the silence, “anyways, the ground was finally being handed over to me by the help of some legal friends of mine. Actually it was not me all in all, it was the club and I am the chairman of it. We took great care of her. The damage level is much lesser than before. She will soon have her clothes next month. Because we ordered grass-seeds that will come by then, I should be going now. Thank you.”

FINALLY, ‘THE GROUND’ HAS AN OWNER

1^st January,2016, Midnapore: Wishing all a very happy new year, Prof. Bakshi, the former lecturer of Vidyasagar University, would like to give a huge gift to the people of Midnapore. He declared that by next month ‘THE GROUND’ will be open only for games. Prof. Bakshi took an oath 2 years back when he saw ‘THE GROUND’ was used not only for games but for political-gathering, fair and other non-sport works. He thought that ‘THE GROUND’ should be conserved. From his point of view, the ground was likely to be raped whenever people came for these non-sport activities. Bamboos were placed like dicks all over the ground. A great work indeed done by Prof. Bakshi. From the next month, Midnapore will have its finest playground, especially for football. Prof. Bakshi appointed ground expert Luka Del Torino for this auspicious try. We thank this great man who took his way against all the odds.

“Hey, where is the other part of the report?” I asked my editor, Kuntalika.

“It sounded like you were being rebellion.”

“Fuck off. It said clearly how unhelpful the government was.”

“I know sweetheart. But it’s not our reputation to be sacrificed. Remember, we need the government to be happy with us. It’s not the right time to give clue to the opponent party. That part comes later. And tell me, why us to point the fault? Why you?”

I remembered Prof. Bakshi saying ‘my wife asked me ’why you’’ when he tried to do something that would let him feel good, he didn’t reply. Sorry sir, I can’t be that respectful towards my editor.

I leave the chair, stood up and bent down a little, get close to the ears of Kuntalika Sharma, said, “because I fucked you enough in your bedroom and kitchen that I get bored of thinking your fucking reputation,” after a 2 second pause I added, “bitch!”

I published the whole story and sold it to another newspaper and they published. I didn’t put my name on it because perhaps I’m not fool enough like Prof. Bakshi or better say not brave enough like Prof. Bakshi. The man who saw ‘THE GROUND’ under threat like a girl being raped. The man who had gone against all odds to protect her. The man who was murdered after the publication of the whole story. Though, as expected, it was intended to look like a suicide.

So, am I coward or am I clever? At least, I’m still alive in this dead society. And Prof. Bakshi is dead when ‘THE GROUND’ is now alive…